The new lingo around here...

CRANK WATCH
A forecast issued well in advance of a severe crankiness to alert the public of the possibility of a particular hazard, such as snottiness, unruly behavior, fits and tantrums, outbursts, or a bad attitude.

CRANK WARNING
A forecast issued when severe crankiness has developed, is already occurring and reported, or is detected on radar. Warnings state a particular hazard or imminent danger, such as snottiness, unruly behavior, fits and tantrums, outbursts, or a bad attitude, etc.

Right now I am on a code red CRANK WATCH. But I feel a code yellow CRANK WARNING might be in the forecast. Stay tuned.

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Also, this morning I saw a brilliant bumper sticker:
"My dachshund is smarter than your honor roll student."